Home Run Records

Can I smoke now without someone taking my picture? --Hank Aaron

It's been about the homers for as long as I can remember. Since I was a boy, it was obvious that the best home run hitters got their pictures in the papers. Hammerin' Hank (who the Milwaukee natives called "Snowshoes" because of the way he ran as a rookie), Willie McCovey, Harmon Killebrew, all of them. If they could get the longball launched by 9:15 they'd be on the evening sportscast.

It was fun to watch them compete against each other, swinging large for the fences. It was abundantly clear that homers were the currency of the day. We should not be at all surprised that players would take every measure to maximize their proficiency at home runs. So, some players used seven herbs and spices, some used extra strength Tinactin, what's the difference? Babe Ruth did worse things to his body than 95% of today's ballplayers, and we don't judge him harshly for it.

When we begin to catalog the various drugs and salves that a player puts on, in, or around his body, we have certainly lost track of the sport. The sportsters are spending way too much time having the players pee into a cup, and not enough time figuring out how to keep the game interesting and relevant.

Look, the guy is going to hit the home runs, and that's what we wanted him to do. He cannot un-hit them, so it will be a record sure as we're sitting here. If we love the game, we should celebrate this achievement, and stop worrying if we have created a monster. Barry Bonds will be the all-time home run king.

Wizer One-Liner #11

Like him or not, Ward Churchill should probably not have referred to them as "nappy headed ho's"